Watching YouTube

So tonight I spent at least a good hour watching YouTube videos on the topic of Ethiopia. Hmm, quite interesting, but not totally the cultural experience I had been looking for. What I learned was there are Ethiopian women looking for husbands in other countries (I quite doubt these women are looking for the husband....maybe someone in their family is looking for them to find a husband, but I'm pretty sure they'd rather just stay at home and be independent). I learned there were about a kajillion videos made on September 11, 2007--the Ethiopian Millenium. I learned there's a bunch of people who have adopted children from Ethiopia. I learned there's an Ethiopian supermodel--whose name I already forget, and I learned there's a song artist from Texas named 'Lil Nate, who has Ethiopian roots and went to Ethiopia went his friends to order McDonalds (wouldn't you want to know, too? I mean seriously, does a Big Mac taste the same in Ethiopia as in Dallas, TX?).

What I really learned, though, wasn't new information, but rather, it was what I felt. That old familiar feeling of "what the hell are we doing?" came surging through my brain and the fear that we are totally ignorant on the ways of true Ethiopian culture was reinforced once again. Some would say it's not too late to back out, but I would say it is. We made the commitment and we're keeping it, but it's scary still the same. My best hope is that at the very least we can be super cool parents to a super forgiving child, and that Ethiopia will be more than just where he/she/they came from but a culture we know well--as well as we know that tamales can be served at Christmas and kuchen is served for breakfast.

I also felt, again, that we will never be able to reproduce a true Ethiopian experience in this really American, albeit well-travelled, home. And while I feel bad for that, I also understand that we, along with a handful of other parents here in Minneapolis, are making up the rules as we go along. The fact of the matter is that there are children, who happen to live in Ethiopia, who don't have parents. And there are parents, who happen to live in America, who don't have children. And it's perfectly logical, although far from ideal, for these two parties to unite. And in the end, the culture we create will be neither truly Ethiopian or truly typical American, but instead, hopefully, a blend. That's our job--to create a new culture that is respectful of all parties and honors all backgrounds, and for that, there is no cookie-cutter template. And that's just what makes this whole thing so damn hard.

Pass the tissue....